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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742616">Disney Princess Syndrome</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipskicksandgiggles/pseuds/shipskicksandgiggles'>shipskicksandgiggles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tumblr prompts [31]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Animals, Crack Treated Seriously, Curses, Disney References, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, this is so stupid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:48:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,151</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipskicksandgiggles/pseuds/shipskicksandgiggles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the middle of a battle, Peter gets hit with a curse from the sorcerer of the week, and Harley cracks up when he hears what it is</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harley Keener/Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tumblr prompts [31]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>199</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Disney Princess Syndrome</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>JDHSHSB this is crack but it’s cute and I love it<br/>prompt: “Don’t tell me what to do! It’s my curse.”</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Can I go on record here and say I am going to lose my shit if I have to fight another wack job sorcerer this month? Because when I agreed to build a suit and fly in there with the rest of y’all, this is not what I wanted to spend my foreseeable future doing.”</p>
<p>“<em>Amen, kid,</em>” Tony’s voice came over coms. “<em>However we do have to take this one down first before we ask the rest of them to take some time off. Cap, how’s it looking?” </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “Looks like it’s gonna be pretty cut and dry, Stark. You and Harley need to start flying around him. Clear a perimeter, get any civilians out, and check for weaknesses. Parker, where are you with webbing the demonic animatronics?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Almost got ‘em Cap. The last squadron should be around this- what the hell?” </em>
</p>
<p>“Peter? You need backup?” Harley asked. </p>
<p>
  <em> “Son of a bitch-“ </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Harley, stay on target. Clint, you got eyes on him?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Looks like some freaky magic shit, Cap. There’s two of them, and one of them just hit Parker with a real nasty lookin’ spell. I’ll handle this bastard once he turns his back, then I’ll get the kid to the medical.” </em>
</p>
<p>Various curses rang through the coms from everyone, but they all stayed focused regardless. Tony managed to distract the first guy while Harley flew in and cuffed him. After that, getting the rest of the magic tricks cleaned up was fairly simple, and they were back at Stark Tower in no time. </p>
<p>“Any word on what hit Peter?”</p>
<p>Steve sighed. “Have <em> you </em> even checked into medbay yet?”</p>
<p>“I’m literally on my way there, Cap. He’s not going to be down there if he got hit with magic.” Harley reasoned. “Just be honest with me, is he okay?”</p>
<p>“He’s fine as far as we can tell. Banner called Strange to see if he can work it out, and if he can’t, we’ll call in a few favors and get Thor back on-world. As far as everything else goes, he’s fine.”</p>
<p>“Meaning?”</p>
<p>“You can see him-“ Harley whooped “-the second you are cleared by medbay.”</p>
<p>He took off for medbay, yelling “Thanks Cap!” behind him as he ran. The doctors gave him a cursory check, and once he was released with a clean bill of health, he asked JARVIS where Peter was. </p>
<p>
  <em> “He’s on Mr. Stark’s floor with Doctor Strange. You should be clear to see him.” </em>
</p>
<p>“Thank you!” </p>
<p>“Well, it won’t kill you, so you should be fine. Might be a little annoying, but it should wear off in a few days,” Harley heard as he stepped off the elevator.</p>
<p>“Is he safe to be around, Doc?”</p>
<p>The man glanced up at him and nodded, stowing his spell books in the bag he had with him and walking towards the door of the balcony. “Yeah, but you’re gonna want to see this. Peter, come outside would you? I want you to see what you’re in for.”</p>
<p>Peter looked at him warily, but walked out the door anyways. Harley followed the two of them, all too curious about why they had to be outside for this. </p>
<p>Which is exactly when like 20 squirrels, a few raccoons, 13 stray cats, and roughly half of New York’s pigeon population decided to join them on the roof. </p>
<p>“Oh my fucking god.”</p>
<p>“No fucking way.”</p>
<p>“You have Disney Princess Syndrome!” Harley laughed. “This was the curse the sorcerer put on you? Are you kidding me right now? This is the best thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life. Wait holy shit, do you think we can get Tony to call his contacts at Disney? You should be the  gender-bent live action Cinderella.”</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me what to do! It’s <em> my </em> curse.” </p>
<p>“But I always wanted to play Prince Charming!”</p>
<p>They stared at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing. </p>
<p>“This is by far the funniest way any of our missions have ended,” Harley wheezed. “You cannot tell me otherwise. This is absolutely fantastic.”</p>
<p>“God you’re so right.” Peter took a deep breath. “In all seriousness though, we should probably go back inside. These birds are making me itchy.”</p>
<p>“Spider thing?”</p>
<p>“No, it’s an ‘I watched that one Alfred Hitchcock movie one too many times’ thing. It’s so much scarier than <em> Jaws </em>.”</p>
<p>“Can’t argue with that.”</p>
<p>All of them went back inside, and Strange assured them one last time that it shouldn’t last more than a week before opening a portal and leaving them. </p>
<p>“Was the mission okay after I got knocked down?” Peter asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah, it was pretty simple. I think we need to update the sonar scan on your suit though.”</p>
<p>Peter nodded. “Did the padding we put in your helmet help with the rubbing problem?”</p>
<p>He shook his head. “I’ll be damned if I can figure out what’s causing it, but we can work on it tomorrow. Should we cook or order in?”</p>
<p>“Can we have mac n’ cheese?”</p>
<p>“Has anyone ever told you you’re a child?”</p>
<p>“You literally just called a curse Disney Princess Syndrome.”</p>
<p>“It’s accurate,” Harley defended. “But I see your point. Go sit and I’ll get it started.”</p>
<p>It didn’t take long to make, and Peter had pulled up Netflix on the TV while he was waiting, so Harley set their bowls on the coffee table. They ate in silence while the period drama they’d been watching played, but half way into their second episode, Peter hit pause. </p>
<p>“You okay darling?” Harley asked. </p>
<p>“How fast do you think Mr. Stark could organize one of those Clear-the-Shelter events?”</p>
<p>“Based on the fact that I think Pepper would literally jump on the PR opportunity, probably pretty fast, why?”</p>
<p>“I’m just saying, it’s gonna be pretty hard for me to get anything done with all these animals following me around, so what if we can organize something <em> around </em>it instead?”</p>
<p>“JARVIS?”</p>
<p>
  <em> “Yes sir?” </em>
</p>
<p>“Is Tony in his lab?”</p>
<p>
  <em> “Yes he is. You might also find that bringing him the leftover mac n’ cheese would be a fantastic idea.” </em>
</p>
<p>“Children. I live with children,” Harley muttered, already getting up to put some of the food in a container along with the appropriate silverware. “Alright sweetheart, it’s your idea. You can pitch it to him while I get Steve to Mama Bear him into taking care of himself alright?”</p>
<p>Peter took the container and kissed him on the cheek. “Love you!”</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Tony loved the idea and called Pepper immediately. Less than 24 hours later, every animal shelter they could contact had a stall outside the Tower, and all of the Avengers were in attendance, strolling through them and helping push pets towards their forever homes. </p>
<p>And based on the way Peter was looking at him, they were going to give the dog he was petting a forever home. </p>
<p>His name is Bantha, and Harley honestly isn’t that mad about it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>always taking prompts on my  <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/playboyphilanthro-pissed">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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